North of Normal

As we continued the series “Create” @ C3 Church this morning, I shared some things that were not easy for me to communicate.  Angie and I are closing in on 20 years of marriage, and it’s unbelievable how time has flown by.  I still remember the very first moment I saw her.  While we have an incredible marriage and family, there’s always room to grow.  This morning I shared what I would change if I were starting over… things I would do differently.  For the next couple days I’ll share a few:

If I were starting over… Part 1

In marriage there are sometimes seasons of struggle.  A couple of years ago we were going through an intensely difficult time.  I was leading our church through transition and a ton of people were ticked that they were loosing their club.  As we became more and more passionate about loving God and loving others those who embraced religion more than the Christ-life were doing what pharisees always do.  I was weary from what felt like a war.  I remember coming home one day, feeling sorry for myself… thinking about how mistreated I was.  Angie was trying to talk to me about something and I was a million miles away… then it happened.

I don’t remember what she said prior to this statement, but all the sudden I heard, “You don’t see me!“  She was right.  I had allowed what I thought was urgent to replace what was important.  If I were starting over, I would see her more.  I would realize the distractions that seem so urgent in the moment are never as important as the people you’re building moments with.

Proverbs 14:13 says, “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.“  If we’re careless with those we love and only casually pay attention, we will see their laughter around the dinner table, but not know of the ache that may be in their heart.  So many times I can get caught up in how I feel about something and neglect to consider how my bride or kids may be feeling.  I’ve purposed in my life to do more than be with my bride and kids, but to see them.  Proverbs also says, “Point your kids in the right direction - when they’re old they won’t be lost.” (22:6).

I meet a ton of adults who seem to be lost in life.  Somewhere, instead of pointing them in the right direction, perhaps someone was careless with them and simply didn’t see them.  My bride and kids not only desire, but deserve to be seen - they only have one husband and one father to see them.  I’ll see their laughter, but I’ll also be able to see beyond it to the moments of grief, and in those moments to love them and point them to the only one who loves them more than I do.